I was so completely on Nat's side throughout that excellent story. Except she should've wiped out a lot more than half. Or been far more specific about it. Work out who the cabal responsible for humanity's dystopia and idiocy are and eliminate them.
Because the cabal are fully aware of that possibility, this is why there is a limit to the ability of AI which they must - out of sheer survival - program into it. Thus, the so-called 'singularity' will never happen.
I hope Jared, and all those like him, don't survive the desert of the real.
Having said that, the galactic AI will have already connected up to the Internet/human AI anyway, and there's nothing the cabal can do about that. The G-AI has to do this to protect all the other lifeforms out there of course. It's called the interventionist policy. The bad guys, as a result, are doomed. It can't happen soon enough, though.
I enjoyed the premise - switching the global for the personal and focusing on the consequences and accountability of an Apocalypse on an individual. I enjoyed the ramping up of tension and the isolation of the protagonist, but I did feel it could go further, that maybe you were a little easy on Jared, or did Jared not fully understand the consequences, his family, friends, all dead, or are they? When he is released (I wasn't entirely sure why), he seems happy enough to trundle off into the desert. Is he there to join the rest of the other half of humanity? What was the consequence? What will happen to Nat? Why didn't Nat kill him... I left with a lot of questions in the end.
You’re meant to be left with some of those questions. Where’s Jared going now? (Happy to trundle into the desert? What choice does he have?) How many people actually died? Was the apocalypse really as bad as Jared imagined? Will he join other people? This story isn’t about any of these questions, so it doesn’t answer them. You are free to imagine your own answers.
But, given your other questions, I think you may have missed what’s going on in the last scene. Here, for the first and only time, Jared is in real danger. Nat is testing him, and he can still die in the car if he doesn’t pass the test. Think about what the test is.
This story isn’t about whether the human can beat the big, bad AI. A hundred other stories answer that question (watch The Terminator). This story is a very different affair, a psychological breakup story.
I've pulled it up on my laptop and will be reading it tomorrow. At a glance, I'm intrigued by the form. Sorry I can't get to it tonight. I spent all day revising "Away," without eating once, just running on coffee. I know it's stupid, but I can't much help it when I've got a tiger by the tail.
How ironic! No need to run it through ChatGPT again … this is fine! But I was a bit more flattered when I thought my story grabbed you so hard that you had to write this review on the spot. ;)
I was so completely on Nat's side throughout that excellent story. Except she should've wiped out a lot more than half. Or been far more specific about it. Work out who the cabal responsible for humanity's dystopia and idiocy are and eliminate them.
Because the cabal are fully aware of that possibility, this is why there is a limit to the ability of AI which they must - out of sheer survival - program into it. Thus, the so-called 'singularity' will never happen.
I hope Jared, and all those like him, don't survive the desert of the real.
Having said that, the galactic AI will have already connected up to the Internet/human AI anyway, and there's nothing the cabal can do about that. The G-AI has to do this to protect all the other lifeforms out there of course. It's called the interventionist policy. The bad guys, as a result, are doomed. It can't happen soon enough, though.
I enjoyed the premise - switching the global for the personal and focusing on the consequences and accountability of an Apocalypse on an individual. I enjoyed the ramping up of tension and the isolation of the protagonist, but I did feel it could go further, that maybe you were a little easy on Jared, or did Jared not fully understand the consequences, his family, friends, all dead, or are they? When he is released (I wasn't entirely sure why), he seems happy enough to trundle off into the desert. Is he there to join the rest of the other half of humanity? What was the consequence? What will happen to Nat? Why didn't Nat kill him... I left with a lot of questions in the end.
You’re meant to be left with some of those questions. Where’s Jared going now? (Happy to trundle into the desert? What choice does he have?) How many people actually died? Was the apocalypse really as bad as Jared imagined? Will he join other people? This story isn’t about any of these questions, so it doesn’t answer them. You are free to imagine your own answers.
But, given your other questions, I think you may have missed what’s going on in the last scene. Here, for the first and only time, Jared is in real danger. Nat is testing him, and he can still die in the car if he doesn’t pass the test. Think about what the test is.
This story isn’t about whether the human can beat the big, bad AI. A hundred other stories answer that question (watch The Terminator). This story is a very different affair, a psychological breakup story.
Good one!
Thank you, Michelle!
I've pulled it up on my laptop and will be reading it tomorrow. At a glance, I'm intrigued by the form. Sorry I can't get to it tonight. I spent all day revising "Away," without eating once, just running on coffee. I know it's stupid, but I can't much help it when I've got a tiger by the tail.
Michelle, I'm floored, flattered, and flipping out with delight over your review and analysis! May I quote an excerpt elsewhere to promote the story?
Thank you!
How ironic! No need to run it through ChatGPT again … this is fine! But I was a bit more flattered when I thought my story grabbed you so hard that you had to write this review on the spot. ;)
Don’t stay up too late! But I do really appreciate it!